I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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