dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
