idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
