'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
