tonight lets celebrate not being married
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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