Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize