I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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