The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
