This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
