I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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