i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
