We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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