bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
