You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
