Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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