I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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