Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
