maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
