She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
