ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
