Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
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