I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
