i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
