I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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