Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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