i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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