so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I believe in your delicious
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
