You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
