:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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