and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
