It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize