He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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