i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that's an acceptable place to lick
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
