WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
