There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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