Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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