Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love you. Go after that dick
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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