I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
