You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
