Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
