So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Then you guys just all showered together...?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize