I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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