we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
