he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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