Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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