You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
