one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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