I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize