He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
