Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have fence marks all over my body
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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