its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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