remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
