I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
