Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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