she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
