Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
