i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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