then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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