I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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