This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize