College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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