Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
