i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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