I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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