he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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