turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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