Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
