I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
