i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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